Seducing the Ad-Com, Part Two: Get into B-School the Jenna Jameson Way

With B-school so close on the hozion, career planning is in full force. Ross has already had enrolled student career planning workshops, Lehman Brothers has started it's diversity recruiting efforts, and Eli Lilly wants to offer future MBA students summer internship positions even before they set foot into a classroom. This sudden surge of recruitment activity has done nothing but add to my confusion. As you all know, I'm interested in taking a "non-traditional" route post business school. I'm just not sure what that is. There are no workshops available for those of us that might want to start our own intimate apparrel companies, or guiltypleasures.com start-ups. I can just imagine the interview process to B-school, explaining to the Ad-Com the true goals behind my MBA.

Interviewer: So, MBA Cutie, why MBA? Why now?

MBA Cutie: Well, I just feel at this point, I've gone as far as I can in my industry. I've starred in movies and videos that bring people pleasure all over the world. I've received countless awards for my daring performances. I regularly try to mentor the new up and coming recruits that Ricardo (you know, my "producer") brings in. But I feel I have talent beyond all that. My production company has taken my brand equity and is profiting off of it in ways I'll never see. With an MBA, I can separate from them, produce, direct, and recruit, but also create a line of merchandise to add to my bottom. Oh sorry, I mean my bottom line.

Interviewer: Uh, um, well yes, I see. So what steps have you taken so far in achieving your goal of entrepreneurship?

MBA Cutie: I was an entrepreneur from the start. I started working when I was eighteen. I have killer instincts and I knew exactly what guys to brush up against in order to get what I want. I built up my name based on hard work and repeated high performance levels. I've already started wearing some of my own designs in movies set to be released this year, and I've helped with lighting and direction of other films from my company. Making sure the camera angles are getting the best possible shot, if you know what I mean. I'm a natural marketer, my customers are just drawn to me. In fact, they are so drawn to me that Ricardo has hired Jimmy, over there, to make sure no one gets too close to me.

Interviewer: Well, MBA Cutie, what do you feel you can bring to this school that is unique?

MBA Cutie: Instant fame. Everyone in the industry will know that I chose to go here. Money. If some of the people in the class are willing, we can start up some sort of "recruitment" program and maybe partner with the film school to push a few movies of our own while on campus. Relaxation techniques. I'm really good at administering and teaching those. The possibilities are really endless.

Interviewer: Cutie, you've definitely sold me. How active do you plan to be with the alumni groups in the area? I mean, I certainly know of a few people that would love to network with you.

*sigh* What a shame my real interview didn't go like this. But then again, I wasn't trying to seduce back then. I was just trying to get in.

DISCLAIMER: MBA Cutie is NOT an adult film star. This post is simply a dramatization of a hypothetical situation.

For those with interest in this topic, check out Jenna Fatigue.