False Accusations

I have finally been through it and know what the worst thing a girlfriend can do to you is... and it's not hooking up with your boyfriend, or telling everyone at school about your secret single behavior, or even telling you that you've gained a few pounds (and I've lived through all those too -- different girls, of course). It's accusing you of something you did not do, and not even caring enough about you as a person to talk to you about it. I feel pretty abused. It is as if my thoughts, true actions, or feelings are so invaluable that they are not even worth acknowledgement because whatever the other person is thinking or assuming just must be correct.

I have come to a few conclusions (wow, I feel like Bridget Jones!):

(1) Girls can be extremely manipulative (myself included) and it is very important to learn to watch for manipulative behavior and not succumb to it.

(2) No more people in my life -- guys or girls -- that need constant worship.

(3) The minute I start feeling bad or abused in ANY sort of relationship I'm in, I need to be strong enough to take a step back and not just try to convince myself that things will smooth over. If I get the feeling something is wrong, it probably is.

(4) Real friends talk to you when something is wrong. Real friends don't boss you around, talk down to you, make you feel bad because they are transfering guilt to you, or give you pointed instructions on what you can or cannot do. If and when these things happen, I need to step back and re-evaluate the friendship.

(5) When someone says unfounded, cruel, and hateful things to you in an absolute, self-serving manner, no matter how good a friend you think they are, you don't need them in your life. Every once in a while, we have to do our "spring - cleaning", and as hard as it is to let go of that favorite yellow pastel cardigan, there would be no room for all the beautiful sundresses that are soon to fill your closet if you kept it.

I will not think or talk of this incident again. It's over, and I am letting go and moving on. In my 24 years of existence, I have realized that something is very true: when bad things happen, you have to hang on tight, and have faith... they will eventually pass... and you will be O.K.