MBA Cutie...

Life on the road to Ross School of Business at U of M... GO BLUE!

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Are we dating or just hanging out?

I know everyone is waiting for the fourth segment in "Sugar Daddy", but I haven't had time to write it yet! I am going to try to have it ready for tomorrow. Just a few random thoughts for today...

Are we dating or just hanging out?

Now days, it's so hard to tell! Forget about someone being a boyfriend or not. How do you know if someone is even hanging out with you for dating purposes? A lot of times I don't really know where I stand with anyone. I have never been a relationship girl. I have been in relationships, yes, but the one I was in that lasted a decent amount of time was when I was in college. Since then, the others have all been maybe three, or at most four, month stints where I liked someone enough to stop seeing other people. Most of the time, that managed to backfire, and in the end, I wish I had just kept seeing other people anyway.

So it's so hard to really know when you are really dating someone. I've created a few guidelines to help me.

1. The guy wants to, and usually does, pay for everything.
2. Dating is when you actually go to the movies, go to dinner, or go do something, not just meet up at someone's place to hook up.
3. You maintain a decent amount of contact -- maybe two or three times a week at least.
4. You see them at least every other week.

Of course these are not hard, fast rules, but it helps give some clarity to a questionable situation. There are still so many gray areas. And when do we start to feel guilty that we are hanging out with other people when also hanging out with / dating someone else? Iknow when I wnat to date someone because I feel guilty for hanging out with others, and I wish I was hanging out with him instead. That doesn't really solve the problem, does it?

We'll see if b-school is any different? (Although, at GBR, the girls did say it really wasn't.) Anyone know any cute medical residents at Ann Arbor? ;)

9 Comments:

At 12:14 PM , Blogger Marina said...

CRAP. I just wrote the longest comment/story and now it is gone =/

 
At 3:36 PM , Blogger Marina said...

Ok I am going to attempt the story once agian in hopes that this time blogger will not boggle it up into the bermuda triangle of the internet.

So back in the fall I was dating this guy who having just recently moved into the city was not really looking for a serious involvement. Of course I didn't find this out until about six weeks into the "relationship", but since I was planning on moving for school I was all for a casual fling and thought my problems with drama and relationships were a thing of the past. The day after we had this little chat things started to get weird.

1.He was still paying for everything
2.He took me to the movies, shows, dinners at nice sushi restaurants, bike rides through the city, and brunches at Mama's *yum*
3.We emailed on a daily basis and spoke on the phone at least 4 times a week
4. I saw him at a minimum once a week, though often more

BUT.....the sex was gone! He would come to the city, take me out, and then instead of spending the night or even coming up for a drink would drive ALL the way home to the east bay. We were no longer dating, but rather going through the motions of dating while merely hanging out and enjoying each other'c company.

Needless to say I got bored with that arrangement pretty fast and we stopped returning each other's calls. I don't understand boys.

Perhaps I never will...

 
At 3:37 PM , Blogger Marina said...

oh - and I dig the new setup. How did you get frames to work in Blogger???

Teach me the ways!

 
At 4:45 PM , Blogger Old-Fashioned Gal said...

Yes....I must say your observations are right on the money. It seems like the line between "dating" and "hanging out" is often made of chalk and that we girls are usually trying to figure out its starting and stopping point. Alas, I think the majority of my own problems have to do with an obscure sense of the "relationship status". Perhaps the problems I am having now with my ex-boyfriend wouldn't have happened if I'd paid any attention to the suggested "warning signs" of a confused committment? Ah..no matter.. Well, I have enjoyed reading your blog as it is very insightful. Thank you.

 
At 6:21 AM , Blogger Anand said...

Hey, Have been away for a while, just saw your new format. Your blog looks great!

 
At 6:22 AM , Blogger Anand said...

Hey, Have been away for a while, just saw your new format. Your blog looks great!

 
At 11:36 AM , Blogger zhila said...

My first time here, got the link from Marina's page. Your blog is darling!!

And to comment on dating vs. hanging out. I've always found "dating" so awkward and horrid. I usually "hang out" first. My idea of a perfect first date is a party with mutual friends. Takes the edge off. And if it sucks, you can still get trashed and have a good time with your friends.

 
At 2:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hella is gone. What do we do?

 
At 12:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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