MBA Cutie...

Life on the road to Ross School of Business at U of M... GO BLUE!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

In Search of a Sugar Daddy, Epilogue: Lessons from the Mouth of a Crack Whore

My experiences with CW, while both off the wall and fantastic, did lend a few valuable lessons that I still carry with me to this day.

(1) Even more important than trying to correct your weaknesses, know your true strengths. CW clearly had weaknesses: An over inflated ego, a poor sense of judgment, a very unattractive face, and the facade of chemical dependency. But, CW also knew what she was good at. She had a vivacious personality and a great body, and she used both to her benefit every time. She did her best to cover her weaknesses through make-up, plastic surgery, or befriending girls with better decision making skills than she had, but her focus was never on her weaknesses. She emphasized and capitalized on her strengths to get what she wanted. I remember once discussing with a career coach/ mentor about how I was really trying hard to address my weaknesses in performance. He just smiled and said, "MBA Cutie, it's great that you want to improve, and knowing your weaknesses is half the battle, but just imagine if you took the energy you put into correcting your weaknesses and channeled it into capitalizing on your strengths. What do you think would happen?"

(2) Be honest with yourself. This lesson was, perhaps, the hardest one for me. We grow up in a society that forces everyone to be optimistic and say things to each other that make each other feel good. "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." But the truth of the matter is, all the not nice things still get said. Most of the time, they are just not said directly to you. CW knew what she was good at, but she also objectively knew what she wasn’t good at. She knew she had a great body, but she also knew that she wasn't the prettiest Persian girl out there, and she readily acknowledged that and became comfortable with it. To a certain extent, the fact that she knew what she had in most respects, and didn't try to pretend she had something she didn't, gave her a certain power -- over men, over her friends, and over authority figures. Once I was walking around campus with CW, and a girl came up to us, stared at CW and outright said "You know, you are wearing way too much make-up." CW just smiled and said (in a way that wasn't at all self degrading or even spiteful towards the other girl) "I know." Now what on earth can you say to that?

(3) "Don't be afraid to use whatever advantage you have to get what you want. No one else is." Another tough lesson. As women, it's looked down upon for us to use means other than intelligence to get what we what. "Oh that girl just got promoted because the boss likes her boobs. What a slut." Um well, sure, but hey, she's the one that got promoted, not you. IF that's really the reason that she got promoted, do you think she's sad she used that advantage? Now, I'm not advocating sexual activities in the workplace, and I doubt that CW is either, however, it's important to remember for every advantage you have over someone else, they most likely have some sort of advantage over you as well. Whatever your advantage... be it a sparking personality, a beautiful face, incredible intellectual horsepower, something else or maybe a combination, use it and be happy. Life is tough enough as it is. Use your advantages, everyone else does. I have to modify CW's advice a little bit: remember to be kind. You never know when you may want to use someone else's advantage.

Now everyone out there has the knowledge of CW and the summer of surprises was not completely in vain.

2 Comments:

At 6:49 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there,
I really liked this post, especially the part about for every advantage you have over someone else, they too have some sort of advantage over you...Also, after reading the makeup comment about CW, I begin to think, maybe she wasn't low in grey cells...maybe it was about her self esteem and wanting attention..
All in all a good post, and your writing is getting better!!!

 
At 2:37 AM , Blogger FooBarMe said...

Good Post!!

 

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