The "Down-Up" Look

Friday night, I rushed out of work, mostly because I wanted get the hell out of there after the horribly stressful week I had, and partly because it was Cinco de Mayo, and I was meeting my girlfriend in the city to go out. We had plans to meet around 10ish, and then head over to a bar, Taj (see hotspots for weblink), on 21st and 5th. I had been there before a couple years ago, back when it had first opened and it was still somewhat of a novelty. The novelty has pretty much worn off. The ambiance and decor drop away the minute the night time club takes over the restaurant. The crowd just felt young, almost juvenile: think "I just turned 21 last week so I decided to come here". I'm thinking if this was partially our bad for going to a bar that wasn't Mexican oriented on Cinco de Mayo, or if it was just an off night.

So my girlfriend, her friend, her boyfriend, and his friends all go inside. Immediately, due to the duration of pre-partying we engaged in back at her apartment, my girlfriend and I start hugging each other, dancing and acting silly. Her boyfriend had gone to the bathroom, and her other friends had already headed over to the bar. And then it started happening. I really would like to kick the person that taught guys to do this because it does not help anyone's cause at all. Within the first hour, about four or five different guys chose to walk by my friend and me, stop (or if not completely stop, slow down), and look us down- then up- and then down again. Blatantly. Out in the open. With no regard for being even slightly discrete. Even her boyfriend noticed it. He came over to us and said, you two are attracting an awful lot of attention, and then he imitated some of the guys that came by and gave us the look.

I shouldn't say that this look is limited to clubbing nights alone. Almost every guy I've ever dated, at some point or the other, decides to give the down-up or up-down look. Some try to do it covertly (like the youngin', the first few times we went out.), and some just don't care and do it openly (like many others who have retreated or been asked to retreat). For all I know, guys do it even after they have dated you for a while, except by then (1) it's either not so menacing that we don't take it as offensively or (2) they just become really good at doing it when we're not looking.

Why do guys think that the "look" is acceptable? Don't they realize that when you look at a girl like that, it makes her feel uncomfortable? The majority of us are not out on the town to be oogled like porn stars. And that sort of look cannot be erased no matter how much wit, charm, or finesse you have once you do muster up the guts to come talk to us. Nor do guys like it when you address their staring and ask "Do you have a question?" Uh yeah, of course they do. But they are sure as hell not going to like our answer.